I believe

Lyrics from Mitch Benn, one of Britain’s favorite satirists:


0274f-mitch_benn_84_2I believe the Good Lord loves me, and that he loves you as well
And if you don’t believe he loves you, he’ll send your butt to hell
Don’t believe in evolution, it’s too implausible
There’s a rational explanation; God magicked up it all

I believe that you should love your fellow man unless he’s gay
The Jerry Springer Opera’s evil but the Gulf War is okay
I believe the universe is six thousand years old
I’m getting real good at believing almost anything I’m told

I believe that science is witchcraft, they’ve all made Satanic pacts
I believe in faith alone, I don’t believe in facts
I believe the Lord speaks to me, I’d do anything he said
Be it feed the poor and hungry or shoot a doctor dead

I believe that God will stretch out his hand down from up above
And smite the gays and the Arabs in the name of love
I believe in anything the preacher tells me to
And I believe this makes me morally superior to you

I believe
You wouldn’t believe what I believe

Categories: Smile

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