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Curling crime confessed

A secret behind Mirjam Ott’s crime, stealing one on the eleventh end, is revealed:

Sponsored by a cartel of Swiss Banks, she built a secret ice sheet where she could push the bounds of curling without pressure from adoring fans, jealous competitors, and the paparazzi. Working with the aid of a foam pit, she will get the rocks to curl both to and fro—a front side double Spin Doctor 1260. She tries to get the rocks to curl over each other, to play the game above the ice, but she misses the foam pit and it’s ugly. Her entourage including Roger Federer’s racket stringer and a St. Bernard named Guenther gather by her side as they await an ambulance….

More insider news at Ohno no more

Categories: Uncategorized

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