REPLAY: Liberal plan of action
Reader Lorne Finlayson provided this to us a year ago. However, he didn’t indicate when the change would take place. Is the time growing close?
Being in either a realistic, or pessimistic state of mind this morning – take your pick – I foresee the following events unfolding for this benighted province:
- Kevin Falcon is elected new leader of the BC Liberals, after making a back room deal with Christy Clark who will become the new Lieutenant Governor. His selection is lauded by the BC Chamber of Commerce, The Fraser Institute, Chartered Accountants Association, the Sun, the Globe and Mail and Phil Hochstein who are pleased that the forward looking policies put forward by BC’s “Greatest Premier” will be carried on.
- In his first press conference, featuring only Vaughn Palmer and Keith Baldry and broadcast on Bill Good’s program, Falcon declares that the budget deficit is the biggest problem facing the province. With that in mind, the civil service will be cut by 20%, all new hires will not be union members but will be allowed to show their initiative free of those terrible union contracts that cost the taxpayer so much. Present provincial employees, including those employed by school districts, such as teachers, will be required to contribute 15% of their wages and salaries to a special deficit reducing fund, and those who are retired will have their pensions cut by 10% and be required to pay for all benefits, the savings of which will go into the aforementioned fund.
- These bold moves are applauded by the Media, the Fraser Institute and the Chamber of Commerce.
- Subsequently, all middle and upper management are awarded 50% pay raises, as well as a month’s paid leave, in order to reduce the strain of carrying out the necessary cuts to the civil service. The Canadian Taxpayers Association “regrets” these increases, but can see their need in times of crisis.
- The Campbell privatization of BC Ferries having been such a resounding success, Falcon announces the privatization of BC Hydro, which will be sold to the highest bidder, thus freeing the taxpayers from the burden of Hydro debt. A consortium lead by General Electric and Keiwit Construction win the bidding. In making the announcement of the winning bid, Falcon awards the consortium a 20% increase in hydro billing, to cover the “cost of transition”.
- The New BC Hydro announces that it will now be allowed to build the Moran Dam, damming off the Fraser River up in the Canyon.
- This will supply electricity to California who need it to power their electric cars.
- When tenders are let, only non-union construction companies are selected. They pay such low wages that tradesmen must be brought in from Mexico and Bulgaria. The NDP, in typical gutless fashion, decry the conditions that these workers are forced to live in, even the barbed wire and guards that protect them from corruption in the fleshpots of Williams Lake and Boston Bar, but says it ” understands the need”
- On the podium, when the project is announced, is the Premier. Also, we see David Suzuki and Tzeporah Berman. These environmental leaders applaud the foresight of the Premier and New BC Hydro in providing green energy to California.
- To quell the whining of the environmental crowd over the loss of Fraser River sockeye, the Premier tells them to get with the times, that farm fish can supply the market and that a fish ladder will be built to allow enough fish to the Shuswap to keep the eco-tourists happy.
- The Premier announces that the Lower Mainland has been declared BCs Growth Future. No more will moneys be spent on the hinterland and that those who choose to live there can look after their own roads, social welfare, schools and so on.
- Exceptions would be Vancouver Island south of Campbell River, the Okanagan and certain areas of the Kootenays close to the Alberta border. There, monies will be made available to entrepreneurs for the building of luxury condos, gated communities and golf courses to attract wealthy retirees .
- Logging will be further curtailed in the hinterland. Displaced loggers will be re-trained as computer programmers. In Prince George, Suzuki and Berman are pleased to make this green announcement, then hop into their helicopters to flee the displeasure of the howling loggers, dinosaurs who somehow believe they are entitled to earn an honest living.
- The Premier announces that BC Liberal supporters in the Lower Mainland will be given rides to work, from their doorsteps, in chauffeured limos. David Suzuki and Tzeporah Berman applaud this green initiative, pointing out that this will help conserve dwindling supplies of fossil fuels and spare these forward looking citizens from the indignity of sharing space with the unwashed in smelly buses.
The NDP, under a new leader who no one knows, or cares about, announce that they are opposed to all of this, but say so in a genteel manner, for they really don’t want to upset anyone. In the subsequent election they are reduced to four seats, but declare this to be a moral victory. The hordes of their advisors, backroom operatives and other hangers- on who give timidity a bad name are forced to find other employment. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are flooded with resumes.