British comedian Jo Caulfield says you can tell a lot about people from the newspapers they read. For example:
- If they read the Daily Star, they can’t read.
- If they read the Sun, they can’t read but want to look down on Daily Star readers.
- If they read the Daily Mail, they can read but don’t feel the need to think.
- If you buy the Financial Times, you work in The City.
- If you steal the Financial Times, you used to work in the city.
- If you buy the Guardian, you don’t enjoy reading it but you want to know what to pretend to be outraged by for when you meet your friends at the gastro pub in Islington.
- If you read the New Statesman, you don’t get many dates on a Saturday night.
- If you’re holding a copy of the Daily Mirror, you’re eating fish and chips.
- And, if you buy the Daily Express, she’s dead. Seriously, she’s dead. There’s no conspiracy. The car crashed. That’s it. End of story. Shut up.