After hackers wiped material on my main computer and on the cloud based backup, I had to recover files from old devices. That resulted in a number of duplicates and outdated data. These I have been steadfastly ignoring.
The electronic congestion has become intolerable so I’ve been working on restoring order. However, that’s a slow process since I keep finding old material to read.
One of these brought a smile so I thought it worth repeating here. This is not my work and the source is forgotten. If you don’t like what is written below, seek out the original author.
At last, someone wrote the rules. Please note… these are all numbered “1” on purpose!
Guys’ Rules for Girls
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You do not hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is extortion.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become invalid after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. When you ask us to do something, do not tell us how to do it. If you already know how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. All men see only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong.
1. If you ask a question that you do not want answered, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as the neutral zone trap, sex, or cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.