Smile

Guys’ rules for girls

Photo by NS on Unsplash

After hackers wiped material on my main computer and on the cloud based backup, I had to recover files from old devices. That resulted in a number of duplicates and outdated data. These I have been steadfastly ignoring.

The electronic congestion has become intolerable so I’ve been working on restoring order. However, that’s a slow process since I keep finding old material to read.

One of these brought a smile so I thought it worth repeating here. This is not my work and the source is forgotten. If you don’t like what is written below, seek out the original author.


At last, someone wrote the rules. Please note… these are all numbered “1” on purpose!

Guys’ Rules for Girls

1.         Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You do not hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.         Sunday sports. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1.         Crying is extortion.

1.         Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1.         Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.         Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become invalid after 7 days.

1.         If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.         When you ask us to do something, do not tell us how to do it. If you already know how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.         Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1.         All men see only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1.         If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.         If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong.

1.         If you ask a question that you do not want answered, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

1.         Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as the neutral zone trap, sex, or cars.

1.         You have enough clothes.

1.         You have too many shoes.

1.         I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Categories: Smile

2 replies »

  1. It’s a good one !

    PS Very sorry to hear of your data losses.. It frightens me.. BRUTAL !

    I loved the recent post re Van Island Logging ! Sent the link to BC Transport office that linked me to historic photo archives. They run a photo contest – identify the location & road in the shots. The one I saw was gravel, circa 60’s.. Long Beach clearly in the distance. Whomever runs that dept was very grateful to receive your link. I am just starting to look in the links they provided me.

    B.C. Ministry of Transportation and Infrastructure Photostream

    B.C. Ministry of Transportation and Infrastructure Highway History

    Like

  2. Sorry to hear “they” blew up your files and computer stuff. You must be writing something which is worrying some one or several some ones. I remember when they did it to Laila Yuille’s blog.

    Read the rules. not much has changed since some one wrote them originally. I have noticed though that the younger generation of men are much more hands on with their children than our generation,.

    Like

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